Today I went to visit my son Alex. Oh, as you may or may not know, I am currently in the midst of battling my ex for my son. The thing that stops me is that I'm in a different state, and legally I can't take him out of state unless we have custody set up.
It's been almost 5 months now, since Steve stated a lawyer would be sending me paperwork. It's been about 3 months now, that Steve has sworn they tried to deliver papers to me at work. Unfortunately, he forgets my work keeps that stuff on record, and no one has ever recalled speaking with anyone trying to give me legal crap.
I go each and every week to see my son, trying to bring diapers and food when I can. I sit in Sharons house, while she tells me that I'm psycho, and need serious help; to make sure my baby remembers who I am. And my heart aches.
So, today, when I waved goodbye to my boy, who scrunched up his face like he was going to cry, I made myself the promise that I wasn't going to wait anymore. I'm not going to try and keep things civil when they so blatantly lie to my face. I'm tired of being pushed around.
But most of all, I'm tired of missing my son.
I thought maybe there was something deeply wrong with me. Turns out, I have chemical imbalances that cause depression. I'm on the meds, seeking therapy. But I would NEVER hurt my son. NEVER. The only thing they have going for them right now is that I told them I had a bad dream right after having Alexander that I killed him and Steve. Sharon took my baby away once, and told me I couldn't have him back until I stopped having bad dreams. I never let her take him away again. Until Steve and I broke up. And it's ironic: Steve doesn't actually take care of Alexander, Sharon does. Steve never knows when I'm going to visit, Sharon always makes me talk to her. Steve refuses to talk to me about Alexander, stating his lawyer said I wasn't to talk to him.
But if he really had a lawyer, I'm pretty sure I would have heard something by now.
Which leads me to believe he's lying about everything. EVERYTHING.
I'm tired of this game. I don't care if the whole family starts to try and turn Alexander against me. They can try to.
But this time, I've a feeling that something bigger than me, or them, is going to take them down.
2 comments:
That is bullshit what he and his evil mom Sharon are doing toying with your emotions and shit; I dont think i could be as strong as you are about this I would be on his ass like stink on shit... figurativly of course.
thanks. I guess I just realise how I was used growing up, and I don't want Alex to feel used. I want to make this situation work...
Post a Comment